So I did see the doctor today. Awesome news. While I'm not quite under 400lbs yet, I'm close at 414lbs. I did talk about a number of topics- bread is still a no-no. He said there are things I can try but if the bread acts as it has for his other patients, then I won't be able to eat much of it without it coming back up. I'm going to try cream of wheat as well as some cereal as a test, and hopefully these two delicious foods will be added to my increasing list of foods I can eat.

I have moved off soft foods as my staple and I can eat most solid foods. I've enjoyed beef stew and meatloaf so beef isn't a problem as long as I avoid fatty/grizzle pieces.

I talked to my dad about a camping trip this summer. I want to keep my vacations low-key this year so I'll probably avoid expensive trips. I'm still going to hope on this cruise trip but I'll make my final decision in 2 months time, once my budget is working for me without any kinks. Right now with money tight I'd say no but things can change in 2 months. We'll see.

Anywho, thanks to everyone for the comments of support! I appreciate them and I'm glad I could show everyone the physical improvements I've been making.

It's been a relatively quiet week. Dave and I watched "I am Legend" last week and it was pretty good. I'm glad there was more survival to it than horror, but I wish they expanded more on the infected. A shame though. I may pick up the book, because Wikipedia says it's much different than the movie.

I decided to take a 2-months-after picture for everyone's perusal so you can get a good idea of how I am progressing. If I don't post tomorrow, have a Happy New Year!

Man! What an awesome Christmas. My family's tradition as always been a party with the extended family on Christmas Eve, and another gift exchange on Christmas morning. However, things have changed as we all get older and have schedules to work around. This year, Christmas came early and we celebrated it today. In the morning, we exchanged gifts with the immediate family, and in the afternoon it was the extended family. While spending time with the family was gift enough, I did get quite a few gifts to sweeten the day. I asked for mostly practical items, and that's what I got. I got a box of kitchen utensils, including spoons, knives, and several other necessary items. I also got a large chef's knife, which will be very handy. My stepsister was thinking of me and got me a box of sugar-free chocolate- much appreciated! And my parents also got me Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl. Later in the day I also picked up a crock pot that's far more advanced than my current one, and a beautiful stainless steel pot which will make cooking small portions of food much easier.

The meal was superb- roast beef and laid-back turkey, and various other dishes. My ambrosia fruit salad was once again a hit, and there wasn't much left of what I brought. All in all, it was a delicious party :9. My Uncle Ron had some news for us as well regarding his wood recycling business. Earlier this year he purchased the business he was working for for several years. It was in debt but he saw how to make it profitable and it was worth the risk. This is his first winter and business is typically slow during this time and he was having a hard time finding money to get through it. However, he managed to secure it and it looks like things are going to be going really well. I am very glad for my uncle and I know he'll succeed.

Arriving home I chatted with Dave for a bit while I put away my gifts and goodies from the party, I found out he had gotten me a Christmas gift as well. He had gotten me a coffee maker and some Timmy Ho's coffee. I'm not really a coffee fan but I drink it for the caffeine. I knew I had a coffee habit but I didn't have to admit it because I didn't have a coffee maker to prove it. Well, now I do... but at least I'll have fresh coffee in the morning.

In other news, I found out Goob picked up Portal, only the finest video games to come out of 2007. Now if only he'd also purchase Team Fortress 2.

I'd like to advocate Hillary for the Democrat Presidential nominee. You heard me right. I want Democrats to choose her. You all know me as a conservative and Republican, so why should I care? Because I think Hillary is the easiest candidate to defeat in 2008. Granted, the other candidates look like they're running for class president rather than US president, but she's the easiest to defeat. Why? Apparently her negatives are the highest. A recent poll states that 40% of the voting population is willing to vote against her. That's twice the next-highest candidate, Rudy Guiliani. I also think she has no experience in leadership. What has she done to lead anyone? She followed her husband around in the 1990s. She's a junior senator from NYS(and has done nothing to help us whatsoever). And her current campaign has nothing to do with how she plans to go on issues, but rather if she's a nice person, or that she's an agent of change(that has changed very little over the years). Yes, let Hillary be the Democrat nominee for president, and guarantee a Republican victory.

It might not happen right away, but I'd like to move this blog back to a daily blog again. I've decided to go back to the roots, the one I started back on Live Journal, where I write something everything even if it's a few sentences. It may take some time for me to get up to speed but that's the goal.

Things are going good these holidays. I've make it a goal to spread some cheer where ever I go and it seems to be working. My peers at work aren't so loathe to see someone happy, and my friends also seem to be happier these days too.

I finished the Christmas cards I intended to make. I couldn't make one for everyone as it's time consuming(and for some people I got gifts instead). Money was tight this year but I got gifts that weren't too expensive but were hopefully meaningful.

Work is pretty fun - we decorated our cubicles and my ideas were used. We made the supervisor's cube into a house and make the cubicle row into a snowy forest with Looney Toons characters in the mix. It looks great. Hopefully my team won. We also had our Christmas luncheon and I enjoyed a roast beef dinner with corn and mashed potatoes, and some pie! I can't believe I ate as much as I did without too much trouble. Granted it took me the whole hour of lunch to do so and it was probably a third of everyone else's helpings, but it was delicious and worth it. I even took some of it home. :9

I made friends with a new employee. She's friendly, smiles a lot, and she walked over to my cube to say goodnight before she left(her shift ends sooner than mine). It was cute and I hope to get to know her better.

I accomplished a great deal this weekend. I finished my Christmas shopping, did the dishes, laundry, and also got everything set for the Christmas party this coming weekend. I also started the next set of lessons of the financial class. This is so fascinating I can't wait to keep going.

That's all I can force out of my brain right now, but I'm sure I'll have more in the times to come.

Apologies for not updating this sooner. Between getting back to work and getting my life back in order, it's been tough to remember to update my blog.

Some new things that's happened. SW Chris purchased an online class for me, to help me organize my debt and get back on track towards financial equilibrium. So far I've finished the first group of classes, and probably would have had more done if I didn't lose my internet this weekend. My cat managed to hit the power button on my surge protector, causing my cable modem to shut down instantly. Upon turning it back on, the cable modem did not come back up. I called into customer service and waited about 15 minutes before I gave up and called technical support instead. Thankfully they answered immediately, told me there wasn't any outages and that my best bet was to just swap the modem at the local office... which is closed on weekends. So I had the entire weekend without internet. At least the television worked, and got to watch the Bills pound Miami into cans of tuna. After that, I got to watch the Patriots pound the Steelers into the ground. I'd like to see the Bills make the playoffs this year. Even if we don't go far, it's quite a boost in morale for this team. But I digress.

The classes so far are interesting, it emphasizes saving now so you can relax later. It's a sound plan and I hope it'll help me get out of debt sooner too. I did learn that my hospital bill wasn't as bit as they made it out to be. Apparently the anesthesiologist sent me a bill before submitting it to the insurance company, and weeks later I received notice from my insurance that it was covered. Phew! I have a bunch of little bills that I have covered easily. This new diet has certainly saved me a great deal in food costs. Plus my sister has paid me back a substantial amount, reducing her debt to me but a large chunk. Since most of my bills can be covered by my paychecks, I'm going to use some of this repaid money for Christmas gifts. I'm definitely keeping it light and easy, spending no more than $20 per person.

Right now I'm home sick. Yesterday I went to work feeling awful but determined to make it through the day. Alas it was not to be so and asked to leave early. I had to use some sick time but didn't have much of it. I knew probably wouldn't be in today either so I managed to get today off as well without a problem. I'm still pretty dizzy but the fever has broke so I'm able to write this update. Speaking of work, things are going pretty well. We have trainers and managers visiting from another call center so they can learn how we do our jobs. They sit with us for a few hours, listening in, and this gives them a good idea how it's done. One of the ladies asked to be partnered with the best agent, and she was placed at my side. What a boost of confidence! It's good to know that someone up there thinks I'm a decent agent.

I'm still dizzy right now so I'm going to lay down for a bit. Hope you guys enjoy the update. I need an alarm system to remind me to do so more often.

PS: Updated the Weightloss meter to the right.

It's been a whole week back to work. I must say that it's pretty cool having something to do again despite the grind. While my job isn't physically demanding, it does tend to be mentally and for that my nights are often short due to the exhaustion. I'm handling it well though.

This year's Thanksgiving was held this Sunday rather than Thursday, and I'm quite grateful. I managed to do some cleaning on Thursday, as well as some goofing off. Back to work on Friday though, it breezed by. I picked up my nephew that night and Saturday we did much more cleaning. I got my closet, dresser, and shelves cleaned, as well as the bathroom and kitchen too. The living room area was also vacuumed and organized. It's good to have a clean house again. I couldn't thank my nephew enough, but I didn't have much to give him. I gave him some wallscrolls, some popcorn and a few bucks but that's all I had. He did a great deal more work than what those were worth, but alas I just couldn't afford much more. He tells me he would have done it for free, and I thank him for that, but still I think he should get what he deserved.

Saturday marked the return of the Lost In Trancelation radio show. You can check out the station and information here. My show features trance from all sub-genres, and it lasts for 2 hours on Saturday. We managed to get 9 people listening at the max, which is awesome. I also managed to talk to Digigurl a bit, as she showed me her latest build in Activeworlds.

Sunday's Thanksgiving was awesome despite me not being able to eat much more than a few bites. However, I did find that I could eat some of the pies really easily. Since they were mostly sweetened with Splenda, I didn't worry about the concentrated sugar. There was chocolate, pumpkin, and butterscotch pie, as well as various other fruit pies which I avoided. However I did have a bite of the cherry pie, which rocked my face. Interesting how awesome something can be when you can only have a tiny taste of it.

As some of you noted, I signed up for Warcraft again. I can't seem to stay away, but it's still a great deal of fun now that I have a good group. Goob's asked me a few times to play and I'm grateful for the chances that we get.

Money's not so good right now. I got a few hospital bills back and I have no way of paying for them. I've got some research to do, and I'm going to gather up my bills and keep track of what I owe and how I pay it off. I think I'm going to have to consult with a debt assistance company to find a solution here. I've already consolidated my student loans, but I'm going to have to do this for everything else too. Bummer.

I decided to get a second opinion on my car, and since I was already heading to Batavia, I decided to visit Santy's, my dad's trusted mechanic for many years. He took a look at my car and told me that because my exhaust systems are all one solid piece, the price would naturally be high to replace them both. He proposed cutting out the catalytic converter and simply welding the new one in. This would lower the cost of replacing both by about $200. However, I simply could not afford to have both sides replaced, so he recommended replacing the one that was worse off. I agreed and since he didn't have the part yet, I stayed over my Dad's house for a night while they worked on it in the morning. They called me up and told me the work was finished but the car was still having trouble and probably would not pass inspection. I would have to replaced the second converter as well.

My inspection is up in December. I wasn't sure what I could do at this point. My family doesn't have the money to assist me at all. My credit card is nearly maxed. I've been on disability which has paid a pittance of my paycheck. However, I was finishing my car loan this month with only $79 dollars left to pay on it. I decided to apply for a loan from my bank. Sounds good? Alas, due to my student loans and credit card debt, I was denied.

So what am I going to do? I don't know. The work needs to be done, roughly $600 worth left to be done. That car still has a few years left in it, so I don't want to sell it and try for something with more problems. The car runs much better now, but it will still have to pass inspection. I do have two things going for me though right now. I made bonus for October but I don't know which level I earned. I'm hoping it's the full bonus for October. That will help greatly. I'm also getting a second job as well to raise some money. Anyone have any other suggestions?

Despite my diminished stomach capacity, I still like to watch food shows. I learned how to make turducken on the Food Network. What is turducken you say? Why, it's a chicken, stuffed inside a duck, stuffed inside a turkey- and supposedly tastes fantastic. I think I found my new recipe. I want to make turducken for my family.

I added up my calorie intake for yesterday and found out it's only about 600 calories. The goal is supposed to be 900-1400, but since I don't want to and sometimes cannot eat more than that, I don't know how much more I can increase it. Today I tried but I'm still only around 750 calories. I just don't feel hungry and when I do, I can only eat 5 ounces at a time. What a struggle!

I learned that my car is in the crapper. The catalytic converters are both plugged up and there's no way beside replacement to fix it. The estimate at the local shop quoted me $1100. There's no way I can afford that. I'm currently looking at alternatives. Universal catalytic converters cost $150 a piece(I need two), but I was warned against them. Direct fit ones are $250 a piece, and that comes to $500. That's about all I have available to fix the car, so if I go that route, I won't be able to pay for labor. I honestly don't know what I'm going to do here. I could try to get another car, getting another car loan with my bank(my last payment is this month actually), but I like this car and I think it's salvageable... I just can't pay to have it salvaged.

I'm gonna need a miracle on this one.

I met up with my surgeon yesterday. He was quite proud that I lost 30lbs since the surgery and he's glad to take credit for every pound too. I'm currently at 443lbs, so the weight is evaporating at a fast pace. The scar is mostly healed and the scab is mostly gone. I've also officially moved onto puréed food as well(though I have nibbled a few solid things here and there beforehand). I can also have poached and scrambled eggs too.

The downside of this rapid weight loss is the hanging skin, and I've already begun to notice it. Things droop more, and my skin does wrinkle up more than it used to. However, it's a concern for another time. Right now the hard part is learning just how much I can eat/drink before I get full, and it's still very tricky. I'm so used to eating large meals that it's a real challenge to train myself to eat far less.

Dave's still in the hospital, but he says he'll be coming back home sometime this week. He said he would have my apartment cleaned up when I left for surgery, but he ended back up in the hospital a week before I returned home last night, and is unable to do the chores. He told me not to clean up when I got back home so he could do it when he got back, but I don't feel like living in a mess until he returns. I did clean up a little, re-arranged a few things, but nothing major. I did find a solid puddle of Dave's liquid formula on the carpet. I wasn't happy about it but I cleaned it up and I'll need to talk to him about it. The stuff stinks and it was difficult to clean it up. I don't want to do that again.

It is good to be home. My kitty was all over me yesterday when I returned, and she was quite happy to see me. I spent the evening cleaning up and watching quality television, catching up on the shows I've missed while being at my dad's place. Today though I started out playing some Warcraft. Yeah, that's right. I signed back up. I'm taking it slow though, no rush. I'm hoping to join my coworker's guild, as soon as I get the name of it. After crafting my war, however, I did some more cleaning, some shopping, and then I began organizing my vast CD collection. What else can I do with all this free time?

I'd like to end this post with a prayer. God, You've helped me out a lot so far. You've gotten me through the surgery, and through the recovery. You've taken care of my friends who are also suffering, and you still have time for me. Please help me learn how to eat safe and healthy over the next few months so that I can continue to be a good servant in Your name. Thank you and Amen.

The Long, Long Road

It's been more than a week after my surgery, and I meant to update much sooner, but without my computer it's really tough to sit down and write out an entry. I've been using my dad's computer for my limited access to the internet and it's neither comfortable nor always available.

However, I have my laptop back and it's running at a cool 31ºC. Hopefully the issue is resolved, but I won't know 100% until I get back home and run the server on it.

Anyways...

The surgery was quite a success. I don't think I've ever done anything like it, nor do I ever want to again. Soon after I was prepped and had an IV put in, it became very busy. I don't remember them telling me they put in the anesthesia, and the last thing I remember was the doctor saying, "Did anyone shave his belly yet? Get his belly shaved." The next thing I knew, I was awake, a huge weight on my chest, and the pain... oh my the pain. That night was marked by a few moments of coherency, I only vaguely remember my dad and stepmom there, but eventually they left. I had several hours to rest and sometime the next day they started getting me out of bed to walk around, something important to prevent blood clots.

The next few days were all about this process- Sleep, wake up, walk around, sit up for a while, sleep, wake up, etc. They started to let me eat ice chips soon after I was walking around, but I rarely had any. In fact I would not feel like eating until I was at home for a couple days. I did what the nurses told me and didn't argue. Thankfully, with the surgery on Monday, I ended up leaving Thursday, and by then I was walking a couple loops around the area. They booted me out soon after. I made a few friends while I was there though, and surprisingly, I did get a phone number

Once I got home, it was impossible to drink anything. I was eager to start healing but for every few sips I'd feel very full. A while later I'd feel very hungry. Sip a few, full again, painfully full. It was difficult to determine which one I was, and it wasn't until Sunday that I learned which one it was. Thankfully, this was also when I could start drinking Carnation Instant Breakfast. My current diet includes Instant Breakfast, sugar-free jello, sugar-free coolaid, apple juice, chicken/beef broth, and water. Most of these liquids go down easy and smooth now with no problem, so I'm hoping to move forward soon too. I won't know if I can until November 7th, when I visit my doctor again.

What am I doing now? I've been bored out of my mind. I can walk to the end of the block and back but I do get dizzy. I've been drinking liquid Loratab and I'm thinking of giving it up, as I don't think I need it. I'm told it can be addicting too so that's another reason. I don't know if I'll be driving anytime soon so I'm still stuck at home, but at least I have my digital distraction back

Things are looking up, I just wish I could move faster to something more substantial in the diet department, but I will follow my doctor's instructions and do things the right way for now. I'd like to thank everyone who prayed for me and who were thinking of me during this time. I pulled through and it's only gonna get better from here

This is going to be my last post for a while. Tomorrow(Sunday) I'm heading home for a thanksgiving dinner, though I won't be able to eat much while I'm there. I'm still drinking those cans of low-carb slim fast(blech) and I'm allowed to have meat, but nothing else.

As a dish to pass I made some Karjalanpiirakka, a polish dish involving a rye/wheat crust and rice pudding... something I hope tastes good as I've never made it before, and I won't be able to eat it myself. So far the ingredients look fair and it should come out nice. If you're wondering where I got the idea, a Finnish friend of mine told me about it and it looked tasty. I've been meaning to try it for a while. What a day to start, just before stomach surgery! Haha!

I've also updated the meter too. Wish me luck! Oh yes, and here it is, a "before" picture for everyone to compare a year from now.

My computer is still overheating, and I cannot play a video game for more than 15 minutes before it reaches 110ºC, the point at which the computer locks up and crashes. I don't know how to fix it, so once I save up I'm going to take it in for some expert care. At least I can get my game on using Dave's computer, which runs fine.

Which brought me to my current situation. Today I had my pre-operative meeting with the hospital, where they ran a bunch of tests, asked me some questions and basically got me ready for the operation. The night before, while I was at work and I had a few moments to think, I was craving steak. I knew I couldn't have any at that point and then I realized I might not have steak for a very long time... It was then I had one of those "What the hell am I doing?" moments. You know, that feeling that you are in a situation and you don't really know why? I'm about to have someone rearrange my guts and I'm going to have to give up big meals for the rest of my life. The moment passed quickly, and I assured myself that this is for the best and I'll be thankful that I did it.

I'm going through with this, and I'm not going to stop. God willing, I'll come out on top.

Also, I'm down to 474lbs.

I was sitting there minding my own business when I got the click o' death from my computer. Apparently my hard drive is toasted so I'm without a computer. I'm using Dave's laptop right now, but I've lost a lot of data, and I'm without internet access.

F--k.

*Update.*

I had to spend some money I didn't really have to buy a new hard drive. Apparently they don't manufacture my type of hard drive anymore so it was hard to get. I did get one, it's larger than the original, but it's working. I was hoping my overheating problem would have been solved by the clean OS install but apparently that's wishful thinking. At first my computer was idling at 35ºC but after a night of leaving it on for a night, it's back to its old high-temp tricks again. Oh well, at least I'm back up. Now begins the long reinstall process.