In the interest of cultural exchange, L33t Soldier and I traded various candies from our respective cultures. I had sent Soldier some sponge candy, peeps, fireballs, jawbreakers, Swedish fish(inside joke), sour warheads, and some other stuff I can't remember as well as two packets of Kool Aid.
What Soldier sent me was a mix of couple fruity things but mostly salmiakki. Apparently, Finnish candy is either salmiakki or some variant of salmiakki. Wikipedia calls it "salty licorice," licorice made with a salt called Ammonium Chloride. However, I know the truth: it's demon candy. The rage and hate that occurs in your mouth could only have been spawned from some vile grotesque monster from Hades. This thread chronicles my experience as I tried every piece.
This was relatively safe. It was a marshmallow mushroom(Hah?). It tasted much like those marshmallow peanuts that often find their way in the bargain bin candy aisles. It was sweet but somewhat bland.
Cola-flavored gummy. This also wasn't bad. The flavor wasn't strong but still sweet, and relatively benign.
This is the turkish pepper. L33t Soldier LOVES these things. This is made from the salmiakki candy I mentioned before. At first, it starts out slightly salty, with a hard licorice shell. The shell isn't strong licorice. The evil part doesn't happen until you bite into the candy, when the salt-bomb explodes on your tongue. THIS BURNS. It wouldn't be bad if it was a licorice burn, but no it's the salt that burns. I proceeded to finish the candy. My torture wasn't over though.
I can only describe this as chewy salt. By now my mouth had recovered from the turkish pepper, so this wasn't as noticeably strong. It didn't taste like licorice, or anything really, just salty.
My mouth was granted relief. This tasted like red licorice here in the States. I liked it.
Another good tasting piece of candy. This was like a chewy apple flavored mentos, but without that waxy texture.
L33t Soldier said this one was called "Rusty Cars." It was red with black. It's a trap. This was more salmiakki with a hint of cherry flavor. Biting into it produced that salty-puckered reaction.
This was probably the best piece of candy with salmiakki in it. It was mostly a fruit flavor with a hint of the salty licorice taste. It was much more palatable this way than any other salmiakki I had.
This was the only thing I didn't have the guts to put in my mouth. It had a picture of a frowning donkey on it(and before you decry bias against democrats) It was some sort of black material covered in a brownish green shell. It smelled like dirt. I gave it a small lick and it tasted like dirty salt. I refused to do anything else with it.
This was another trap. It was a hard piece of candy, with a red color and a black stripe. The black stripe should have warned me. L33t told me it was a slight salmiakki taste. Which was true...until you bite into it. SALT BOMB.
Finally some love. This was a fruity gummy and quite tasty. My taste buds rejoiced.
The skull should have warned me. L33ts warning that it was worse than the Turkish pepper should have warned me. I was expecting another "chewy salt" with this one. No, the first bite into it release yet another salt bomb. By this time my tongue was about to amputate itself.
So what do you get when you mix vile salmiakki and tasty milk chocolate? I strange taste that I don't think I could get used to. It was chocolate, and it was licorice, and it was salt. It wasn't bad in terms of saltiness but it wasn't all that appetizing.
The final piece of this cultural exchange is Tar Lions. That's right- it's made from pine tar. I likened to to a cough drop more than anything, but there's that underlying pine-y taste. Its strange but not wholly unpleasant.
So what about L33t Soldier? He made out the best. He got some good candy from the USA. The most dangerous things he got was some sour candies and some cinnamon fireballs. Big whup. OH yeah, here's a screenshot of his reaction to my reactions. Bastard.
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